i am upset. Today I came across my former teacher of the art school, and the funny thing is, at first, I totally didn’t notice him. I saw someone looking at me at the supermarket, and I didn’t pay attention. And then he talked to me, saying he was saw me on television, which wasn’t true at all. I immediately recognized him as my former lecturer from art school, who supervised me with my paper about journalistic technics. It hit me he was in a wheelchair. So after paying at the counter, I suggested to have a coffee together, which he liked. So this former lecturer, who gave me a great grade for my paper, is disabled now. He has a transverse myelitis, and can’t move anymore. He told me he lost his his strength, and now can only use 10% of what he used to. I really wanted to know what happened, so I asked straight out what happened. Turned out he went on a skitrip with his then girlfriend and kids. It was winter, and it was slippy on the road, and my teacher slipped with the car, and he broke everything what could be broken without dying.
The other passengers were fine, except for him. He broke a lot, and it took him a long time to recover. So I informed why he called the ‘ex-girlfriend’, so it happened that the woman broke off their relationship. During the recovery she was there, but not really, and when he was finally more or less recovered (but he now has to use a wheelchair), he asked her to marry him. She rejected him. After four years of being together.
It was such a sour story to hear. So sad. I saw this man on the table, and I felt so sorry, but I told myself not too pity him, because no one wants to be pity, everyone wants to be seen as strong, as capable, as to be able to conquer all kinds of difficulties of life. So today I sat with my teacher, and we talked about religions. Before the carcrash he studied theology, and all kinds of religions, like Buddism, Taoism and more. Actually i was glad to hear that he had reached that kind of ‘consciousness’ before he got hit – i just hoped somehow he would find a way to live with this (alternated) course in his life.
I mean, he is a good person. He went to skiing only because his kids wanted to, and he never went skiing. He was happy with the woman, and thought she was the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He never felt happier before than with her. The crash happened, and no one wanted it. But it happened, and it happened to him. And then he lost a great deal of his fysical health, and even the woman he intended to marry. She refused, and then he realised she never really loved him on that way that would survive this kind of challenge. Only out of guilt she took care of him while he was recovering. And when he was finally a little better, she couldn’t wait to move on. It’s so sad. I feel so sad. And then we talked about religions, and luckily my teacher was passionate and knowledgable (ofcourse he is, he lectured at art school) about religions, and the workings and why of them. He just told me a shallow top layer about religions, but it was okay. It’s always good to talk with knowledgable people, since there is not only a substantial change of ideas, but also an alchemical exchange, and that’s what I like. You always change a bit, when exchanging/communicating with others (and then not only lecturers, but okay, you get my point i think).
But I am still sad about it. So what if bad things just really happen to good people. And then the good people get harmed, and then … and then??
Is he happy? He is left by his girlfriend, lost his strength and ability to walk. He is quickly tired, and lost touch with the all the other relatives of his ex girlfriends side.
Am I to quick to judge? I sincerely hope he has transcend my quick prejudgements and is a man who is able to relativize his situation.
Yesterday I was with a girlfriend, and I cried that I was having so much trouble with my situation now. She said: Things will be fine.
And she is right. Things ALWAYS turn fine. Always. Why? Things will be fine, not because they change into the way we want them to be, but it’s because we ourselves changes. Our perception. Our desires. We alter in order to be able to live with it. And that’s what makes us humanbeings to be admired. We adapt.
The most successful species are those who are able to quickly adapt.
This being said, Erin, however, I truly hope things we wish do will turn out the way we wish them to be. I promise, if so, I will be this biggest philantrope ever, if the wishes come true. Bigger than Bill Gates 🙂
I send you a hug.